It has come to my attention that the storyline for our work-in-progress has gone missing. It was right there at the end of Chapter 20, but somewhere during Chapter 21 it disappeared and has not been seen since.
Now, I’m sure that whoever has taken it did so with the best of intentions. As a joke, perhaps, to cheer us all up after a particularly fraught weekend slaving over a hot keyboard. I know that we were all feeling a little dispirited when, despite all that effort, the Word Count simply refused to budge.
But a joke can only be taken so far: after a while it becomes a little tiresome, and I’m sure I speak for everyone when I say that we would all be very pleased if whoever has taken it could return it.
If it helps, we can turn the lights out for a few minutes so that the character that has misappropriated our story can put it back, in confidence. Just place it on the desk at the front of the room, and we will say no more about it.
On the other hand, I hardly need say that if it is not returned, promptly, I shall have to conduct a thorough examination of the scene – I still have that fingerprint kit I was given last Christmas by Aunt Maude – and will leave no stone unturned until I have established the facts of the matter.
However, I’m sure that it won’t come to that, and the guilty party will replace the missing artifact in the next few minutes under the cover of darkness.
After all, I’m certain that none of you would want to accuse me of losing the plot.