Good evening, everyone, and once again thanks for coming. It’s been some time since we last met, and although our final deadlines are getting very close, I thought it was worth taking our eyes off the page just for a few minutes to take stock.
The big news is that I’ve decided that the current version, Draft Five, will definitely be the final one.
OK, settle down everyone, I know you’re as excited by that decision as I am. What’s that, Chapter Seven? You’re not that excited? Fair enough, I apologise for misinterpreting the fist you just threw at Chapter Eight.
So what does this mean? Well, for a start it means that all of the feedback from Draft Four has now been triaged and processed. No, Chapter Twelve, I said “Triaged”. It means that each comment has been reflected in the manuscript, unless of course the Editorial Board – that’s me, by the way – has exercised our creative authority. That means “screw you, we’re doing it our way whether you like it or not,” in case you were wondering.
There should be no further substantial changes, which means if that if any of you come up with a fabulous new plot twist, or a previously unknown second cousin of our protagonist, please keep the idea to yourself. I don’t want to know.
Our only focus now is on fine tuning the manuscript, which means staring at commas, semi-colons and gerunds until our eyes swivel in their heads and fall out.
Now get back to it, you lazy SOBs. We need to get this job done!